Dear Juicy,

I was a little hesitant about writing in at first, but I really don’t have anyone else that I would dare mention this to. I figured this was as good a place as any since no one will ever know who I am. I have been married for twelve years to a really terrific man who I love deeply, we have the most mind blowing, and amazing sex so I really don’t know what the problem is with my mind…

I have been dealing with this for several years now and I am at a point where it’s starting to affect my sex drive. I have been making excuses to keep from having sex because I really feel guilty about this. I just need to know, is it normal for me to be to fantasizing about another man while making love to my husband? Don’t get me wrong, my husband puts it down, he totally rocks my world! But my mind can’t help but to wander off from time to time. I find myself fantasizing about other men or imagining he’s someone else, I also imagine myself in threesomes or even with another woman. Is this normal? Am I some sort of suppressed freak? Are other women having this same issue too? This really bothers me because my husband really is an excellent lover and he cherishes me. I thought about seeking counseling but then it would show up on our insurance and I might have to come clean; I could never risk hurting my husband because I have a sick mind. Please help!

Signed,

Suppressed Freak?

Dear Suppressed Freak

I thoroughly enjoyed your article because it is exactly the type of thing that we women would never talk about, so thank you for helping me to OPEN  UP the dialog on these types of NORMALITIES that we all have been conditioned to think of as abnormal.

Now, to answer your questions, no you’re not some sort of suppressed freak. Yes, it’s perfectly normal to have thoughts about engaging in romance with others and whether or not anyone else will admit it, we all (men and women) have similar thoughts. Hey, believe it or not, your husband is probably experiencing the same issues as you. It  just sounds to me like you may have hit a “sex wall” in your marriage. This  is very normal after spending so many years having sex with the same partner, it’s time to spice things up a bit that’s all. Although you may be able to reach a climax, your subconscious mind is in need of a different type of visual stimulation. Tell your husband that you want to try some new and exciting things in and out of the bedroom. Change the setting of your encounters, be spontaneous and try it out doors, or some place unusual, incorporate role-play by pretending you both are other people. You have to do something other than your norm to feed you mind because your mind already knows what to expect when the two of you get together.

I hope this helps.

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