Ever since I was old enough to know what the value of a dollar was,  I have been trying to figure out how in the hell Barbie managed to have so much shit without any formal education or career. She has had the most expensive cars, lives in the finest estate style mansions, is showered with (FL)  flawless diamonds and takes the most luxurious vacations from Palm Beach to Malibu, all without a job.

Well, the truth is finally out, Barbie is a kept woman! Mattel Toys has secretly been pimping Barbie! Apparently she has been the love interest of Palm Beach Ken, (check him out, gray hair, swag and all.) Mattel has messed up and let the cat out of the bag by inconspicuously saying that they have decided that it was time to give our beloved little Barbie doll a “daddy” after all these years; and what little doll doesn’t need a daddy? Heck, she’s only 50 years old now, and has been doing just fine roaming around the world all these decades without any parental guidance, so why now? Well, I guess they feel it’s better late than never.

UGGHH! Why in the hell does Barbie have a sugar daddy? WTF is wrong with Mattel Toys!!! Hey, I’ve got an idea, why not get her a stripper pole and a vibrator while you’re at it? Or here’s one better, let’s just turn all innocent little girls into gold digging, sugar daddy having strippers! I don’t even have a daughter and I’m pissed off. I don’t know about you, but I’m completely disgusted and outraged at the overt innuendo that Mattel Toys is making. Who thought of this sick ish? Uhh, can you say, pedophile?

Let’s say NO to Mattel Toys! We’re not going to let this foolishness fly. If they get away with pulling off this “sugar daddy” shit, the next thing you know Barbie will be doing IVF,  and injecting collagen into her lips to look like Angelina Jolie. Sound familiar?

BTW, (by the way) this particular Barbie is the most expensive rendition ever; she’s slated to be pimped out at $174.99! Yeah, you read right. Her and Sugar Daddy Ken are a part of the Barbie Palm Beach series, which is to be released in April 2010.

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