Okay Juicy Girl talk community this is hot, fresh in from the mailbag!

Dear Juicy,

I’m sick of all these married bit%&$# thinking that their shit smells like CoCo Chanel because their so-called husband has put a brass ring on it. When they find out that you’re not married they turn their noses up like they smell something putrid. Being married is obviously not all it’s cracked up to be or the divorce rate wouldn’t be so high. I am more than happy to enlighten these married snobs since they “think” their the one and only. Well, sorry to burst your little bubble but I’m here to let you all in on a secret –  your man is cheating on you with me, the other woman (there are thousands of us). Yes, We are your husband’s “well kept” prize possessions. We have everything you have – beautiful kids who attend the best private school – a gorgeous home in the suburbs (not to far from you as a matter of fact) – we drive the latest soccer mom vehicle’s (Cayenne Porsche or Escalade) and have Carte blanche spending of “your” money.

The only thing that we don’t have that you do is… arguments and sleepless nights. See, We’re no trouble so he doesn’t bicker with us, we provide him with a piece of mined and solitude, he loves us and looks forward to seeing our beautiful faces, and why wouldn’t he? We do all the things that you complain about doing, won’t do, can’t do, refuse to do and no longer want to do. It seems to me that you all have forgotten exactly what it took to snag him in the first place. You’re slipping, but don’t worry, We’re making up for your shortcomings.

And no, most of us don’t work, at least not a traditional 9-5 the way you do. This is our job and it’s hard work; we need as much time as possible to stay beautiful and fit for “our” man. We work out every day,  get facials every week, body scrubs, massages and waxing, (Brazilian, he likes it bare) and lots of shopping, we always have to look pretty.  The only downside is that he has to spend the holidays with you and the kids, which is a minor price to pay. He feels guilty about having to be away from us so he always showers  us with expensive gifts, fabulous vacations, and sparkly surprises.

Now, you may be thinking that we want these men all to ourselves right? NOT. We are more than happy to allow you to wash his dirty boxers, cook his meals and stress him out. You see, you make us a necessary commodity, he “needs us” in his life to be all the things he married you to be until you started nagging, letting yourself go and taking him for granted. So, do us a favor and be a sweetie won’t cha; keep up the good work you make this career recession proof. Maybe after reading this, you’ll stop putting you nose in the air when you meet a woman your age whose not married. Hey Juicy, would you please tell all these married women to wake up!

Signed,

Not Really  the “Other” Woman

Dear  “Not Really the Other Woman,”

I see that you are having a hard time dealing with the fact that you”are” the other woman, if not you would not take the time out of your busy little schedule to warn married women about the possibility of their husbands infidelity. You are obviously an adult, and therefore can do as you please, however let me warn you to air on the side of caution, if one of these – as you put it – married bit$%es finds out, I can bet there will be trouble. It truly saddens me that your type finds comfort in knowing that you are helping these men perpetuate such indiscretions. Karma is inevitable, you’d better watch out. I really feel sorry for you my dear, you lack the esteem and self confidence which enables you to believe that you could hold on to a man of your own.  Sorry, I won’t be able to tell married women to “wake up” for you,  but what I will do is tell you and the hundreds of women like you that you are the ones in need of a wake up call. You may all want to seek counseling to help you deal with your insecurities and the fact that you care enough about what women who “are married” think about the fact that you are NOT.

If you suspect your mate of infidelity and you are ready to know for sure visit CATCH A CHEATER