Dear Juicy,

My name is Brenda and I am a 32 years old. I ran across your blog on Twitter and I couldn’t wait to present my latest finding to see if other women are experiencing this crapola too.

Okay! I get it; aging is an inevitable aspect of our existence right? And, there are something’s that we must simply suck up, because they come with the territory. Got it, not a problem. But, what is a problem is that there seems to be some sort of unstated concensus on the things that must never be mentioned.

Somewhere around the age of twenty-eight or so, I started to experience all sorts of unexpected changes within my body. Some of which, the “older folk” neglected to, or should I say “conveniently forgot” to tell me about. Oh sure, they’ve made mention of the little occurrences that I guess they “don’t mind” sharing like the hot flashes, knees cracking, osteoporosis, aches and pains, thinning hair yeah, yeah, yeah… But, what about those “other” issues that no one ever has ever told me about?

What, I’m not supposed to find out? Did they think it was only happening to them? Am I supposed to keep this a secret? Well, guess what? The freaking cat is out of the freaking bag! I have an abundance of women in my life, roughly 8 aunts, 9 much older female cousins and an entire army brigade of female friends all over the age of 30,  so you know I have a few calls to make. I have one simple question to ask: how come no one, I mean not one of them, told me about the “lint” down below? WTF! Say it isn’t soooo.

I nearly plucked my skin off trying to get rid of that damn lint. A half bottle Pinot later, I came to terms with the fact that it was not lint, it was a grey hair. So, I guess my choices are to eventually go Brazilian, ignore it and sport it granny style, or, dye my va-ja-ja in addition to my hairline!!!!!!!! OMG, I can’t believe this, time for another glass of Pinot. I REFUSE to go granny style (at least not right now anyway). My esteem simply can’t handle it, and I’m certain that hair dye is no delicacy. Samantha from Sex in the City said it best, “No one wants to F*** granny’s kitty.” Well, guess I’d better get to packing; Brazil here I come!

Signed,

Brenda is in Brazil

***Check back later for Dear Juicy’s response to “Brenda is in Brazil”

Dear Brenda Is In Brazil,

Thank you for your submission. I see that you have discovered an unfortunate yet inevitable occurrence. If it’s any consolation to you, the “lint” you are referring to happens to all of us eventually, men included. If you don’t believe me, just give his private area a closer inspection the next time -it will make you feel better.

As women we usually tend to spaz-out about such incidents, but believe it or not, our counterparts could really care less, they just want it to be in working order. You have several choices to aid you in the ridding of the  “lint.” You could shave, although it may cause razor bumps if you have sensitive skin. You could use a depilatory cream, but some of them have an awful stench and can cause irritation. Now the down side to these first two choices is that the “lint” will reappear within a week. If your budget can withstand it, you could do laser hair removal; it’s quite pricey though.  If none of these options is attractive to you, then get to packing; you have just won an all expense paid trip to the land of “Brazilian Waxing,” the hair removal place for those who hate lint! Make sure you get a recommendation from someone who has a really gentle Esthetician; otherwise you could get the shit snatched out of your Kittie!  Not trying to scare you, just want you to be informed.

-Juicy

P.S.
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